Mansel Abbey: Hummana Hummana

Downton Abbey is the best historical drama you need to be watching. There are maids, butlers, finery and aristocrats. And they're British. Did I mention it's historical? And Maggie Smith is in it??

This series has been rocking Damsel HQ for the past month with its scandals and one liners. We've breezed through the two available seasons and are now feeling bereft because the third season won't be coming out until September 2012 in Britain and as late as 2013 here in the States! We have been clutching our pearls for weeks since learning this horrid news!

There's just so much to love—scandals, ladies in gorgeous dresses and cocktail hours where words like "minx" and "scoundrel" are delightfully thrown about. Oh, and there are also quite handsome gentlemen, with accents and cravats to boot.

The handsome heir of Downton.

They Irish driver, with a rebellious streak.

The tragically sweet second footman foiled by...

...the frustratingly evil, yet undeniably handsome first footman.

Images via PBS.org

Oh my, how did that get in there?

Still need convincing? Maybe this charming interview with the cast members will convince you.

History is always hummana hummana-worthy.

Sheer Damsels

It took me a while to get on board with this trend, but now I am there. And I mean, I am really there. Sheer. Blouses. Good for everything.

Via celebuzz.com

Check out cute little starlet, Victoria Justice rocking an orangey-pink confection at a signing! The black trim makes her choice even cuter! She is adorable. This trend is easy to pull off, great for work or going out. It is a win-win situation, Damsels! Put a tank under, pair with some colored jeans or skinnies, and you're ready for a day at the office. Switch to a skirt later, and you're ready for happy hour! Pair with leather leggings for an edgy look, or with a pleated skirt for a soft, feminine style.

Combinations are endless. You're welcome.

And the Damsel Goes to...

The Oscars came and went this Sunday, and kind of like someone's parodied grandparents they were slightly racist and left you feeling sleepy. It was the Academy's answer to the Anne Hathaway/James Franco hyper-disaster of last year. Their youth and seeming lack of preparation was answered by Billy Crystal's jowls and professionalism. He was the Nyquil to their uppers, the back-in-my-day-silent-films-weren't-just-an-artistic-statement voice that was beaten over our heads the entire show. "Films are so great! Here are a lot of actors you might know, who are in films you've actually seen and who also think movies are great! Come back to us! PLEASE!?"

But I'm being cynical. It certainly wasn't the best Oscars, but it wasn't terrible. There were some highlights, and there were some low, low moments. Will Ferrel and Zach Galifianakis banging cymbals in Brad and Angelina's face? Angelina's hilarious, escaping leg? Octavia Spencer making everyone cry with her acceptance speech and general awesomeness? All fantastic.

And Octavia looked fantastic, too:

Via FabSugar.com

By far and away my best dressed vote of the night.

But not everyone could win last night—the Oscar or Damsel approval. Emma Stone's adorable presenting couldn't distract from the ginormous WTF bow around her neck. Damsels were confused over the state of Rooney Mara's boobs, and even more concerned about the asphixiation (and perhaps escape?) of J Lo's lady bits. There was a lot going on, and sometimes we were distressed.

But my worst dressed vote of the night did not go to a wardrobe malfunction or even the blue rash of lace engulfing Lily Collins. No Damsels. It goes to our dear mansel Brad Pitt.

Via Celebuzz.com

Though their love triangle drama may be in the past, I find it a bit insensitive of Bradleykins here to be unabashedly copying Jennifer Aniston's haircut. Let the girl have ONE thing, Brad.

Damsels Speak...Words

I'm not quite sure what to make of some of Nasty Gal's spring shorts. So I decided to express myself through the art of spoken word.

Put.

It.

Away.


Okay, those were three words, but you're buying what I'm selling.

(FYI I'm not selling these).

Damsels with Dragon Tattoos

In complete consistency with my love of book series, such as The Hunger Games, I started reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo a little more than a week ago. Yea, I am totally into it. Lisbeth Salander is just awesome. Now, I am gearing up to see the American film version of the first book, and I have to say I am pretty excited about that too.

At first I was skeptical of the Rooney Mara decision. I mean, who is she? So, of course, I obsessively researched, and found out she comes from a rich family tied to the New York Giants. So she's probably some rich, trust-fund baby. I hated her. And then, she was just around. And I can't really explain it but she grew on me slowly but surly, prying her gelled hair and dark lips into my life. The only problem I continued to have with her was that her fashion choices, while striking, were far from colorful, and could be downright depressing!

Alas, dear Damsels, she's worn some color! I can hardly handle my giddy appreciation! Take a look.

Via celebuzz.com, at the Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards

Are you basking in the glory like I am? I think this is all we will ever get in terms of color with this girl, so let's celebrate!

Hummana Hummana: The Lorax

You guys, I think I am going to love The Lorax. For multiple reasons, including the fact that the first time I saw the trailer, I laughed out loud. I lol'd. So I know it is going to be good. Also, because Zac Efron and Taylor Swift are adorbs.

Via celebuzz.com

Look at his piercing stare! I am so glad you are at premiers again, Zac! We've missed your smoldering looks! That crazy hair! Your effortless and careless attitude, which only serves to make you hotter.

The appearance on Ellen was just the icing on the cake, Damsels. There are rumors that Zac and Tay are dating, and let me tell you, I am all for it. ALL FOR IT. I love it.

Side note: I had a huuuuge WTF moment with Taylor's dress here. From far away, I was like - oh cute! A white dress with a cut-out back and a tan peter-pan collar! So adorable and totally Taylor, with the softness and the sweetness and the -- WHAT?!?!? That is not a collar, my friends. That is skin. SKIN. Skin and a weird neckline that I am not even prepared to deal with.

Via celebuzz.com

Zac is the only reason I am dealing with this right now. Also, I like to think he's laughing at her with me in this picture.

Floral Slackin' Damsels

Oh, Olivia.

Via FabSugar.com

My love for you and your flaxen hair has been well-documented. Like here. And here. You're chic and lovably cold. So maybe that's why I'm so confused. I thought I hated floral pants. They reminded me of 70-year-old women, Florida and garden parties. Maybe some shuffle board thrown in there, too.

But then you step out at London Fashion Week rocking them, and now I just don't know. Why don't I hate this? Is it you? Is it the mix of prints? The bright yellow shirt? Maybe I'm yearning for early retirement? I just don't know, but I like this. I might...love this.

What's wrong with me??

Damsels in Red

OK. I have some serious qualms with the jumpsuit. I think sometimes they can be flattering (a la Rose Byrne at the SAG Awards) but most of the time, it is just an ill-fitting, high-waisted mess. In this case, not only is it high-waisted and high-water, but it also looks as if Kristen Wiig here has a third breast. Not cool, red jumpsuit. Not cool.

Via celebuzz.com

Am I being too harsh? As a refresher, here's Rose Byrne's take on the Jumpsuit:

Via thehollywoodreporter.com

I don't know. There's a clear winner here. Which of these Bridesmaids worked the jumpsuit best? Or...does the jumpsuit work at all for you? We're still unclear here at Damsels headquarters - sometimes Rose Byrne just works her voodoo magic on us to make us believe anything she does is gorgeous.

Swallowed-up Damsels

Bad news, guys:

Via FabSugar.com

Coats are eating us now.

Damsels of Oz

Ah! It is the Good Witch, Glinda! Oh, Glinda will you show us the way to the Wizard? It's just that I don't have a heart. How do I know? Because I hate what you're wearing. And I even know that it is a departure from your normally conservative, mumsy (I just created that word) ways and we should all be celebrating, but -- I just can't get on the bandwagon. This is how I know I don't have a heart. I will follow the Yellow Brick Road and get back to you.

Via gofugyourself.com

Nope. The Wizard said I actually had a heart, and that he agreed with me. Oops, you're just too girly/prom-y/flower-girl-y for the Wizard and I. I might have to land a house on you now, just so you get the point.

Hummana Hummana, Hemsworth?

Liam Hemsworth is covering Details magazine.

Via TheHollywoodGossip.com

He stars as Gale in the upcoming Hunger Games movie and is of course best known for his complex and nuanced role (sarcasm) as Miley Cyrus's onscreen (turned off-screen) boyfriend in The Last Song. I'm lukewarm on t-shirt button downs on men and concerned he might have a lower back problem, but all in all he looks fine. The background matches his eyes. His facial hair doesn't bother me too much. You know we love a skinny tie. Ho-hummana.

I don't know, is it just me? Am I somehow immune to his hotness? Maybe the HG movie will change my mind. It's not like I have anything against Hemsworth here. He and Miley seem happy. I'm looking forward to his brother's movie with KStew. What am I missing??

What do you Damsels think: does he look feh or feh-rickin' awesome? Tell us in the comments!

Damsels Celebrate V-DAY

Via gofugyourself.com

Happy Valentine's Day!


...Oh, that's not the "V" you thought I meant?

Damsels in the Deep

So, how do we feel about this?

Via FabSugar.com

Adele covering Vogue this next month has been getting some mixed reviews, but I'd have to say I'm pro. I think, no matter her size or perceived-size or lack thereof or whatever everyone's all in a tizzy about, the girl gives some good face. I mean, come on:

Via FabSugar.com

 
For a singer under THAT much pressure to recover from serious vocal surgery and then getting flack about how she needs to get her heart broken before her next album (PROVE US WRONG, ADELE), I think everyone just needs to take a step back. This is pretty. She is pretty.

Plus, she had Christian Louboutin-style nails at the Grammy's last night, and how cool is that, really?

A Free Spendin' Damsel

Ok, I'm sorry, but I truly love this:

Via FreePeople.com

Yes, it's a little wacky and looks like a collar met a statement necklace and they got married and had this. But I love it. It's shiny and unexpected, plus right on-trend with all of the fancy collars I've been seeing on shirts lately.

But (luckily?) the price of $498 keeps me from impulse-buying. Which makes me wonder, would I be a crazy celebrity dresser? Because I feel if I suddenly had piles of money and I could buy whatever I wanted, I would start dressing a little nutty. Kaftan dress for $1,000? Why not! Large peacock headdress? Yes, please! Even larger furry hunting hat paired with a lace nightgown and high-waisted hot pants?

Via FabSugar.com

Sign me up.

A Date with a Damsel?

Will you be my Valentine? There's only one requirement. You need to seduce me in a Victorian version of the teddy. Ready?

Via gofugyourself.com

Yep. It happened, and it's terrible. I am telling you here and now that people are going overboard with lace. Pretty soon, those well-placed ruffles will just be gone, and then all human decency will have gone to dust.

Hummana Hummana: Man-sels for Sale

Oh yeah. We're having a special on Man-sels. Today only, buy one, get one free! You heard me right, two Man-sels for the price of one! We're practically giving them away over here!

Who are the fine pieces of man-flesh, you ask? I'm glad you brought it up. Because it brings up more things, and I really enjoy going on tangents. Valentine's Day is coming up, if you didn't know, Damsels. And, along with all the other corny and romantic things produced for and on said holiday, nothing pleases me quite like the V-Day movie.

This year, many films are galivanting around as V-Day movies: on a serious note, The Vow, on the other side of the scale, This Means War with Reese Witherspoon.

Here's the part where you say, where are the Man-sels, Damsel? With a slightly higher voice than necessary. Hey, I promise, there's a rhyme to my reason. Just go with it.

I'm excited for Reese. She is back to being flirty and fun, which is how we all grew to love her (Legally Blonde), which isn't to say we didn't like her in Walk the Line (of course we did) or we didn't ever mean to go to Water for Elephants (we so meant to go, it was just timing issues, I promise!). But this just feels so natural. And, she just seems so happy in her personal life, that I just want to applaud everything she does, from red-carpet appearances to shopping with her daughter.

Also, while we're here, I'd like to say a few choice words about Chelsea Handler. Can the girl not be in something? She is everywhere, and it is not a good thing. It is like when Krispy Kreme was like, "OMG people like us again! Let's put stores everywhere, and then also put stores in people's houses! Then, let's put stores directly in people's mouths - it's so conveniently genius!" That is what Chelsea Handler is doing - overextending herself, and really, her welcome in American homes. I mean, she has her show, which has its moments. Then she has books, and she hosts the VMAs (she bombed it, btw), and then she gets a spin-off show about her show, then she gets a show about her book that stars her and that girl from That 70s Show - who no one cared about because Mila Kunis was there - then when we thought maybe ONE THING would be sacred, she's in movies too. I mean, can we have ONE THING, Chelsea? Apparently not.

Double the Man-sel, double the fun? Yes, we've arrived. This Means War has two hunky men in a compromising situation. I actually do think this movie looks really promising. It stars Chris Pine (of Star Trek and Princess Diaries 2 fame. You didn't let that slip, did you? Yes, I said Princess Diaries 2, and I'm not ashamed! I loved that movie - so much sexual tension, all caused by Chris Pine, so don't even go there with me.) and Tom Hardy - I have no clue who Tom Hardy is, but I know from this movie he can handle a gun, and a suit with a skinny tie, and that's really all I need to know. (If you're curious, IMDB says he's been in Inception, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Sucker Punch, and in post-production, The Dark Knight Rises - gearing up for a big year, aren't you, Tom?)

Via thismeanswarmovie.com

Anyway, here they are giving meaningful looks in suits.

Via thismeanswarmovie.com

You're welcome.

Via thismeanswarmovie.com

That marriage has done Reese good, no?

A Bicycle Built for Damsels

I subscribe to the fantasy of having my future home look like Anthropologie. I admit this freely, and to anyone who asks/is near me when I'm shopping at Anthropologie. I realize a hundred billion other girls feel this way, but I don't care. It's mildly kitschy, extremely cute and fantastically colorful. Sue me.

So every once in a while, instead of drooling over the clothes or the accessories, I allow myself to click over to the "House & Home" tab on the homepage and browse furniture and other knick knacks. Partly to wile away my time, partly to gasp at exorbitant prices. But wholly to covet.

That is, until I stumbled into the "Hobbies & Leisure" section.

Via Anthropologie.com

What in the what? When did Anthropologie start making bicycles and selling them for--wait for it--$798. And that's the cheap one! There's another, even plainer, bicycle that costs $1,998:

Via Anthropologie.com

I'm sorry Anthro, but if you're going to sell me on a bicycle when I'm already a terrible bike rider, it better have rainbow streamers and flying unicorns painted on it, or some such nonsense. You're close with the flowers and the wooden box, but no cigar. I'm severely disappointed--Mama needs her kitsch.

Oh, wait, never mind, Damsels:

Not Safe For Damsels

Happy Friday, Damsels! It's the end of the week, and you all deserve something so wonderful, so ridiculous, and so laugh out loud AWESOME that it will make this last week fly from your memories. Mainly because, when you see this, your brain will explode.

Are you ready? This is not safe for LIFE:

Damsels Critique Side-Boob-Snook

Side-boob-Snook needs to be the next "That Sh*t Cray." Can we talk to Kanye about that? I'll probably just call him up and be like, "Hey 'Ye! Snook rhymes with a lot of good stuff. Just consider it." Then I'll hang up first so I definitely leave with the upper hand.

All Kanyes aside, the saddest part about this whole get-up is that she probably thinks the blazer makes it classy.

Via celebuzz.com

That sh*t cray. (Ain't it Jay?)


...What she order? Fish fillet?

(If you don't know that song, get on it, because it is awesome.)

Hummana Hummana: Grey-ing Mansels

It's no secret Damsel Headquarters has a crush on Liam Neeson. He's handsome, he's badass, and he usually chooses awesome movies to star in. I'm on the fence, however, about his most recent endeavor, The Grey. From what I can gather from the previews, there are wolves, a plane crash, a woman hiding under a bed sheet with Liam Neeson, and Liam Neeson. Being badass.

Oh, and this handsome son-of-a-gun:

Via WildSoundMovies.com

Why hello, Mr. Mulroney. Long time no stare. I know I don't need to point out to you Damsels how delicious I find it that his most recent movie endeavor with our fave LeeNee is called The Grey when it so accurately describes the state of his temples.

So here's to you, Dermot Mulroney. Welcome to the folds of silver foxes everywhere. Hummana hummana, indeed.