A Bicycle Built for Damsels

I subscribe to the fantasy of having my future home look like Anthropologie. I admit this freely, and to anyone who asks/is near me when I'm shopping at Anthropologie. I realize a hundred billion other girls feel this way, but I don't care. It's mildly kitschy, extremely cute and fantastically colorful. Sue me.

So every once in a while, instead of drooling over the clothes or the accessories, I allow myself to click over to the "House & Home" tab on the homepage and browse furniture and other knick knacks. Partly to wile away my time, partly to gasp at exorbitant prices. But wholly to covet.

That is, until I stumbled into the "Hobbies & Leisure" section.

Via Anthropologie.com

What in the what? When did Anthropologie start making bicycles and selling them for--wait for it--$798. And that's the cheap one! There's another, even plainer, bicycle that costs $1,998:

Via Anthropologie.com

I'm sorry Anthro, but if you're going to sell me on a bicycle when I'm already a terrible bike rider, it better have rainbow streamers and flying unicorns painted on it, or some such nonsense. You're close with the flowers and the wooden box, but no cigar. I'm severely disappointed--Mama needs her kitsch.

Oh, wait, never mind, Damsels:

Via Anthropologie.com

 For only $98, you can get the perfect gift for the millionaire beaver in your life who has everything.

That'll do, "Hobbies & Leisure" section. That'll do.