A Bicycle Built for Damsels

I subscribe to the fantasy of having my future home look like Anthropologie. I admit this freely, and to anyone who asks/is near me when I'm shopping at Anthropologie. I realize a hundred billion other girls feel this way, but I don't care. It's mildly kitschy, extremely cute and fantastically colorful. Sue me.

So every once in a while, instead of drooling over the clothes or the accessories, I allow myself to click over to the "House & Home" tab on the homepage and browse furniture and other knick knacks. Partly to wile away my time, partly to gasp at exorbitant prices. But wholly to covet.

That is, until I stumbled into the "Hobbies & Leisure" section.

Via Anthropologie.com

What in the what? When did Anthropologie start making bicycles and selling them for--wait for it--$798. And that's the cheap one! There's another, even plainer, bicycle that costs $1,998:

Via Anthropologie.com

I'm sorry Anthro, but if you're going to sell me on a bicycle when I'm already a terrible bike rider, it better have rainbow streamers and flying unicorns painted on it, or some such nonsense. You're close with the flowers and the wooden box, but no cigar. I'm severely disappointed--Mama needs her kitsch.

Oh, wait, never mind, Damsels:

Damsels Against Critter Scarves

You Damsels may have noticed that Rachel and I are all for faux-fur. It imparts the drama and class of real fur without the guilty feeling of wearing someone else's coat. Or just the gross realization that what you're wearing is taken from a dead animal. Plus, there's always been something super creepy to me about the word "pelts."

And even though I sometimes find myself admiring a handsome fur piece, what skeeves me out more than anything else is when the heads and paws are still attached. We already know the animal is dead, who wants to have that sad fact draped over their shoulder?

That's why my sensibilities are repelled by this Anthropologie "Coiled Creatures Scarf."

Via Anthropologie.com

I realize it's supposed to be cute and silly. A whimsical scarf during the colder months. Yet my sensibilities repel! Not only does it feel akin to wearing a stuffed animal around my neck, but it reminds me of dead animal carcases and makes me sad. Really, really sad.

And Anthro isn't alone -- this ASOS sweater with "detachable knitted badger stole" is yet another example:

Via ASOS.com

Ugh.

So what do you think, Damsels? Overreaction to a perfectly adorable trend or do you agree that there's something...off about these faux-dead-animal fashion pieces?

Damsels Dislike Your Fancy Pants

I love Anthropologie. Like, if Anthropologie was a guy, I would be creepily obsessive and stalk his facebook all the time. Or we'd be exclusively, seriously dating. On our way to getting married, meeting the in-laws and house-hunting seriously dating. I'd give up all other stores for Anthropologie, til death do us part.

But part of the reason I love this store is because sometimes they get wackadoo with their selections. For all the pretty dresses and breezy blouses, Anthro can definitely throw in some crazy trends.

Enter the Fancy Pant.

Via Anthropologie.com 

Fancy Pants are becoming a huge trend with their questionable textiles, unflattering cuts and lots and lots of prints. And I'm hating on them hardcore, whether they're these awful striped legging-hybrids, or these hideous plaid cords:

Via Anthropologie.com 

I'd just like to point out that THESE ARE NOT PAJAMAS. THESE ARE HIGH-WAISTED PLAID CORDUROY ANKLE-RISE PANTS TO BE WORN WHEN PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU.

Sorry for all the yelling, but these are offensive, right? Well, not as offensive as THESE:

Tight Damsels, Yo

I once owned an awesome pair of white tights with a flower design running up the sides. I loved them. They went flawlessly with my crushed velvet jumper, and let's just say 10-year-old me rocked them like no one's beeswax.

But then somewhere between '90s holiday parties and middle school band concerts, tights went out of fashion. My green tights with polka dots? No longer awesome. Black sheer tights? Too mom-ish. And those fabulous white tights with the black applique I so loved? Well, those unceremoniously met their demise in a Goodwill bag.

And then, slowly, tights began to become cool again. At first opaque black tights were the only acceptable form (jumping on the leggings bandwagon WHAT UP 2007?), but then tights in all the colors of the rainbow began to be marketed, too.  It was a new dawn...of pants-less-ness.

And now, textured tights are cool again. And I for one am friggin' ECSTATIC:

Via Anthropologie.com

Polka dots!

 

Via ShopBop.com

Warm textured tights!

Via ASOS.com

And, of course, some awesome flower appliques! My 10-year-old self and I are totally high fiving over these bad boys.

So what say you damsels? Do you think tights are tight? Because I totally do.

Do Damsels Dig Capes?

This past weekend, I threw out my back. I haven’t been stretching lately and I ended up doing a lot more walking than I had anticipated after being on bed rest for two days, causing my lower back to seize up and forcing me to finish my unicorn costume in a horizontal position while pitifully whimpering. This could mean one of two things:

1. I need to treat my body better
2. I’m actually 80 years old

I’m currently leaning towards the latter because I want to start knitting and I think I may be having a love affair with capes. 

Now at first, I was all anti-cape. Who would want to wear that, said I? What use would I have for these faux-jacket mockeries? But then I started seeing them everywhere.

 Milly Siennea Belted Cape via ShopBop.com

 

Fatigue Finery Cape via Anthropologie.com

 

Nanette Lepore 'Kiss A Lot' Sweater Cape via Nordstrom.com

And I think I may be crushin’. Not on the shapeless, baggy, horrible capes mind you, but the posh capes that you might imagine yourself wearing while strolling down Park Ave with a coffee in your hand. In leather pants. Or dark skinny jeans. With boots. And maybe a furry cassock? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

What say you, dear damsels? Would you wear this trend or do you want to escape the cape?

Damsels Wear Statement Necklaces

Confession: I love Olivia Palermo. I know she was a huge bitch on The City and everyone hated her and she was a terrible worker at Elle. I know this. But her hair is just so shiny and she is just so pretty that I can't help but want to be her friend.

I mean, look!

Via FabSugar.com

See?

So because of my love for OP, I've become obsessed with statement necklaces lately. She wears them all the time, and they always look so good on her! It's super infectious. Now whenever I pick out an outfit, I just think, "A statement necklace would just MAKE this." And it seriously would.

Via Nordstrom.com

Via ShopBop.com

Via Anthropologie.com

Via Endless.com

I want.

Damsels Question Missoni

Target shoppers who scored big-time on the opening day of the Missoni Line aren't the only ones capitalizing on the zigzag frenzy. Boho-luxe store, Anthropologie is trying their hand at a little Missoni Magic.

While Target shoppers loved their designer brand at every-day prices, enterprising eBay-ers are profiting (sometimes by 6 times the original amount) off the Target line.

This has some shoppers saying "good grief!"

But, if you're ready to fork out some more dough, for a theoretically "better" product, then give the scarves at Anthropologie a try. For $155 a pop, you can have your hands on that coveted zigzag swag, pictured below.

                                                               Picture via Anthropologie


Is it worth it? You be the judge. If I had $200 to spare, I probably wouldn't think twice—these scarves are cute! And I think they are a higher quality than their Target counterparts. But for me, $200 could buy a really cute handbag, which I'd get more use out of.