Bikini'd Damsels

I still vividly remember fighting with my father over a tankini when I was in 6th grade. It was the weekend before our class pool party, and anyone who was anyone was going to be showing their midriff—some girls even had bikinis (the scandal!). So it was of the utmost importance I AT LEAST had a tankini, but Papa Megan didn't like the idea of his little girl being anything but "covered up."

It's a bad sign when this memory was sparked by a bikini from Free People:

My father would like the direction this is going in, but I'm...befuddled. It's a bikini top, so you're obviously going to be showing a lot of skin. But Free People draws the line at collar bone/cleave? And who wants this tan line, anyway? I could go running and have more of my neckline exposed in a sports bra than in this swimsuit.

Unless this is some kind of marketing genius where Free People realizes this is where most women burn the easiest, so this is what you wear after your chest has turned lobster-red. It's perfect, actually—you hide your lobster cleave while it calms down and wear this shiny flesh colored fabric swatch over it. MISDIRECTION, DAMSELS.

Okay, never mind, best swimsuit ever!

WTHundreth

Today marks Damsel in a Dress's 100th post. 100 posts about things we love, hate or that make us lol are now on the interwebs for all eternity, and our loyal damsels across the world (what up, Russia?) still load our page now and then to read our tangents and at times hilarious opinions. Rachel and I hope to keep growing this little blog, but we have some pretty awesome readers already.

And to thank all of you for wasting your precious internet time with us every once in awhile, I share with you our recent vacation pictures in Vietnam. We just had so much fun!

Here we are about to get off the boat. I really love our respective pants, but I'm not crazy about my forehead flower—let's just say it looked a lot better in person, when I didn't have a mirror and was high on opium.

We made easy friends with the local children, who adored us obvs. I think Rachel's hat really made them feel at home! Oh wait, they already were at home and we were invading their homes. Semantics!

Rachel's crying jewels right now because the shop owner told her they were completely sold out of a matching pink neon fringe halter top in her size! Or at least I think that's what they said, idk really.

"This umbrella goes with this culture, right?" Although I do have to say my dress here is adorable.

"Wait, so it is organic? Why is she laughing?"

"...aaaaand we're lost."

(Disclaimer: all photos via Free People's March Catalog. Rachel and I really didn't go to Vietnam. It needed to be stated.)

HAPPY 100TH!!

A Free Spendin' Damsel

Ok, I'm sorry, but I truly love this:

Via FreePeople.com

Yes, it's a little wacky and looks like a collar met a statement necklace and they got married and had this. But I love it. It's shiny and unexpected, plus right on-trend with all of the fancy collars I've been seeing on shirts lately.

But (luckily?) the price of $498 keeps me from impulse-buying. Which makes me wonder, would I be a crazy celebrity dresser? Because I feel if I suddenly had piles of money and I could buy whatever I wanted, I would start dressing a little nutty. Kaftan dress for $1,000? Why not! Large peacock headdress? Yes, please! Even larger furry hunting hat paired with a lace nightgown and high-waisted hot pants?

Via FabSugar.com

Sign me up.

Cropped Damsels

I would say I like crop tops. I don't love them by any means, and I don't wear them personally. But if I see a girl that's rockin' one, I would definitely give her crop-props. If it's cute and she looks good, why should a sista hate?

But here's the thing Damsels -- most women do not rock a crop. Big is beautiful and all, but even an average-sized woman may want to steer clear of these tummy showers.

That's why I was half-amused/half-horrified when I saw this:

Via FreePeople.com

Not only is this top (let's face it) not that great to begin with, but now it's available in XL? Who are the women protesting that this wasn't in an XL? Who thought to themselves, "How unfair! This unattractive crop top with an unflattering stripe pattern DOESN'T come in my size?? I SEEK JUSTICE! I will never shop here again!"

And Free People was all, "Wait, don't fret! See? It's now available in XL!! Just like you wanted! And we're telling you with a pink font and an exclamation point! DON'T LEAVE US!"

Dramatization aside, I would like to meet the confident/blind women who want this top, of all shapes and sizes.

For serious.

Damsels in Leather Shorts

All right, so at the risk of my love for Olivia Palermo's wardrobe/hair becoming obsessive, I'd like to talk about her shorts – specifically, her red leather Tibi shorts she wore to to the Tibi Spring 2012 MBFW show.

Via CelebrityFashion.OnSugar.com

SO. MUCH. WANT.

Can you blame me with becoming obsessed with leather shorts since? I can't stop imagining myself wearing them with cute booties and a chunky sweater. Or a breezy blouse à la Olivia. Or with textured tights. Or really, with anything!

The only thing about leather shorts is that the "leather" part can get pret-ty pricey. The Tibi shorts OP is rocking the pants off of (get it?) are $550 on ShopBop.com:

Via ShopBop.com

Totally cute, totally expensivo.

Luckily, I've found an equally chic pair that are not only less money, but also animal-friendly....after the jump.