Snakes on a Damsel?

I must preface this by saying that I love pregnancy, pregnant people, babies, baby gifts, and pretty much anything small and cute that smiles. With that, I also feel like there is a way to dress when you're pregnant that shows off your newly acquired bump, but is also flattering.

via celebuzz.com

Jessica Simpson is not dressing that way. At least not at her baby shower on March 18. I mean, come on. Maxis are hard enough to pull off for a regular person! This dress makes her look ten times bigger than she is. The blue snake print is literally doing NOTHING for her. In fact, she looks like what a guilty, guilty snake would look like after swallowing a baby elephant. I am not even sure if that is possible for a snake to do, but Jessica Simpson has made it possible to glimpse into that world, if such a world existed.

via celebuzz.com

It may be too late for you, Jess, but let's help the soon-to-be celeb-moms (wow, lot's of hyphens there!). Please s-t-b-c-m's, do not wear a flow-y, printed, maxi dress ever. It never ends well.

On the plus side, I love your hair! And I am also pretty sure your baby will be cute. So, there's that.