Hummana Hummana: Mansels with Style

It is that time again, Damsels. I would say wipe those smiles off your faces, but I'm smiling too. Why? Because it is Wednesday, and therefore the Hummana, Hummana post. I can't deprive you of a little eye-candy, simply because I don't want to deprive myself.

So, here we are. Let me begin by saying that I am a Facebook fan of ZARA clothing. Where is this leading, you might ask? Patience is a virtue, dear Damsels. Because I'm a fan of ZARA on Facebook, I'm able to see notifications from them. Some of them tell me new clothing options in the stores and provide pictures. But, yesterday, as I was perusing my social network, ZARA posted something titled, "YOUNG Evening Lookbook." A casual post for some, but a look at the pictures suggests otherwise. This, my dear, dear Damsels, is what I wish men would do. EVERYTHING I wish they would do! Why don't they do it?

Via Zara Facebook Page

These "YOUNG" men are wearing casual coats over dress shirts with ties! They are parting their hair! They look polished and put together and stylish. Do I have to mention the jaw line? I hope you noticed that on your own.

Via Zara Facebook Page

I will leave you with a few other looks from the lookbook. Enjoy.

Via Zara Facebook Page

Seriously, why can't they do this?

Damsels in Forts

It's time we all had a chat about fancy shorts or, as I like to call them, "forts." Forts can be extremely cute, but I've recently been noticing that designers are trying to pass off certain forts as skirts! I haven't been able to walk into a store this season without seeing a flippy skirt that then turns into a pair of forts upon closer inspection.

Now, some forts are still extremely cute. I love me a tailored fort with some opaque or lacy tights. They're a fun layering option, and I don't even mind when they're a little baggy or long. My hatred arises, however, when they're too baggy, when they are no longer a straight cut but A-line, and when pleats become the name of the game. Namely, when they appear to be faux-skirts, or "firts" (which incidentally sound as disgusting as they look).

I'm looking at you, Rachel Roy and your "HIGHWAISTED LADY SHORT":

Via RachelRoy.com

These are a good example of a firt. Even she knew to write the name of these in accusing capital letters. It's as though Rachel's shouting at us to buy them, but in reality it merely increases their offense. Please just stick to the other adorable shorts in your repertoire, RR, and we'll let these "LADY" shorts (and all of their cousins) die a quick (yet painful) fashion death.

Damsels Love Cyber Monday

I woke up to 18 new emails this morning, all from stores seducing me to their sites with promises of percents off and free shipping. It was a smorgasborg of deals that left me feeling as excited, nay, even more excited than Black Friday. See, on Black Friday you have to stand behind hoards of crabby shoppers suffering from sleep deprivation and low blood sugar (guilty). But Cyber Monday? Oh, Damsels. Cyber Monday rocks my socks.

My favorite website today so far has been Rachel Roy, who's had 40% off RRR purchases, 20% off RR purchases and free shipping on all of it. Including jewelry! And sale items!

Like this awesome elephant ring that I may or may not have purchased immediately upon first sight.

Sometimes, you just know. What impulse buys have you been making today?

Damsels Eat Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving, Damsels! Here at Damsel Headquarters, we're thankful for friends, family, health, happiness and stuffing. Oh, and all the fashionable wears we'll be shopping for tomorrow!

The trend I'm most thankful for today? Brightly colored peacoats.

Via ASOS.com

What better way to stay warm? And this one is even Kelly green! Tell us what trend you're thankful for in the comments, and have a happy (and wonderfull)Turkey Day!

Hummana Hummana: Sexiest Mansels Alive 2011

OK, ladies. Let's just cut to the chase here, because we know what you want. You want a little man-sel and you want it now. Hey, understandable. We could all use a little more meat this time of year—and of course I'm referring to turkey.

PEOPLE has released its "Sexiest Man Alive 2011" list and the winner is...

Via PEOPLE

Bradley Cooper? I guess those eyes are kind of piercing, and his character in The Hangover was funny and lovable if not a little douche-y, but really? I can't say I mind the eye-candy, but there is a lot of merchandise out there, or as we say in the business, "merch."

In the interest of...well, Man-sel-viewing, let's examine that "merch." I give you some of the other candidates that made the coveted annual list:

Via PEOPLE

Ah. Liam Hemsworth. Miley-dater extraordinaire, Hunger Games star and most importantly, man-who-has-a-first-name-in-common-with-Liam-Neeson, an actor I find incredibly endearing and, if you must know, I also find him bad-ass in the movies Les Miserables and Taken (an odd assortment of movies, I agree).

Via PEOPLE

Another endearing candidate? Tim McGraw. Never underestimate the sex-power of a married man who loves his wife. Loyalty is attractive, and so are cowboy hats and boots (when applicable, read: if you're a country star, or you are dressing up for a theme-party).

Can't get enough? Go to people.com to view the rest of the candidates who made THE list of 2011.

Well, there you have it, Damsels. A Hummana Hummana worthy of the day before Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?

Towering Damsels

As a rather petite girl, I like Jeffrey Campbell's crazy-tall heels. At first I didn't think I was a huge fan, but certain styles of his clunky shoes slowly grew on me with their interesting designs and glitter.

But though I'm a proponent of both wedges and thick heels, I must draw the line here:

Via NastyGal.com

I'm tripping acid just looking at these. Emphasis on the tripping. At this point, why not just wear stilts and call it a day? These are what Lady Gaga would wear if she decided to host a pastel-and-'70s themed boardwalk party. Or if Jan Brady wanted to tower over Marsha. Or if I hit my head and could no longer differentiate colors and sizes.

So what I'm saying is no thank you, Jeffrey Campbell. I know your life goal is to make everyone 7'' taller, but perhaps let's rethink the 7'' full-on wedge.

Oh, and these:

Damsels Dislike Your Fancy Pants

I love Anthropologie. Like, if Anthropologie was a guy, I would be creepily obsessive and stalk his facebook all the time. Or we'd be exclusively, seriously dating. On our way to getting married, meeting the in-laws and house-hunting seriously dating. I'd give up all other stores for Anthropologie, til death do us part.

But part of the reason I love this store is because sometimes they get wackadoo with their selections. For all the pretty dresses and breezy blouses, Anthro can definitely throw in some crazy trends.

Enter the Fancy Pant.

Via Anthropologie.com 

Fancy Pants are becoming a huge trend with their questionable textiles, unflattering cuts and lots and lots of prints. And I'm hating on them hardcore, whether they're these awful striped legging-hybrids, or these hideous plaid cords:

Via Anthropologie.com 

I'd just like to point out that THESE ARE NOT PAJAMAS. THESE ARE HIGH-WAISTED PLAID CORDUROY ANKLE-RISE PANTS TO BE WORN WHEN PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU.

Sorry for all the yelling, but these are offensive, right? Well, not as offensive as THESE:

Pardon My Fair Isle, Damsels

Warning: For this post to achieve maximum impact, it must be read in an Irish accent. Hey, I don't make the rules.

Ah, lassies. Allow me to regale ye with a wee story:

There once was a wee fair maiden who wandered into yonder woods at the stroke of noon on a blustery day. She left with no sweater, no warmth for the harsh winds, for she was to return to her lodgings shortly.

Alas, on that blustery day, she got lost in the woods. Her cheeks grew rosy with cold, and her skin rose in bumps. Suddenly, out of the bushes came a wee faerie.

"I'll grant ye one wish, Fair Lass," said she.

"I wish for only one thing, Faerie," the lass replied. "Please, give me something for warmth."

The winds grew ever more fierce, blowing the trees to and fro. So, the faerie granted her wish in the form of a fair isle print sweater, knitted, every stitch, by magic.

"I give you this fair isle sweater, lass, so that you may be warm whenever you feel cold. Now, whenever you reach for its comfort, you can remember the magic that gave it to you, and also this fair isle we inhabit."

Left, via Gap, right, via J.Crew

So, Damsels. If there is one thing to take away from this post, it is that magic always comes through when we are in need.

Oh, and also, apparently, fair isle print can inspire dramatically inventive, Celtic fairy tales by Yours Truly. And by "dramatically inventive," I mean completely mundane.

I think the biggest literary moment was, "so that you may be warm whenever you feel cold."

The emotional depth! The sheer courage! The drama!

Okay, I'm sorry if you read through that entire thing, but don't you just LOVE fair isle print sweaters???

Via Nordstrom

Hummana Hummana: Breaking Dawn

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Sparkly vampires and plot holes aside, Robert Pattinson has been lookin' real good lately. He's been perfectly charming on all of his late night appearances (talking about THRUSTING, no less), and thank god his hair is back to normal.

Via AccessHollywood.com

Well, normal for him.

He spent most of the Breaking Dawn premiere attached to rumored gf Kristin Stewart's hip, so I found it hard to find an image where we could see Rob's entire look. But I've always been a proponent of a skinny tie and I like the color and fabric of his suit.

Plus, Taylor Lautner is a fan:

Via WashingtonPost.com

So I think we're all in agreement here. Enjoy this Wednesday's hummana hummana from the newest Twilight installment!

Damsel Rosanna Arquette is Leaking

Oh, honey. No.

Let me introduce you to Exhibit A:

Via Go Fug Yourself

This is Rosanna Arquette, who—according to Wikipedia and IMDB—apparently made appearances in Pulp Fiction and Joe Dirt (to name a few), and who—also according to Wikipedia—is also the sister of Patricia, Alexis, Richmond and David Arquette. Before we go off on a tangent about the productivity of the parental Arquettes, let's discuss the real issue.

Whoa. Who would wear this? This is not flattering in any way and on so many levels! The first thing I said to myself when I saw it was, "that's a really unfortunate placement of red color." And, please, before you all start expounding on how gross that is, don't deny that you thought it too. Nobody in their right mind would wear a garment with red streaming down the front in that specific area. This is cracked out.

And, now, maybe there's one of you out there who is saying, "OK, so it is unfortunate about the reddish, brownish leakage, and the turtle neck, it would be better if it wasn't so snake-like, well...and also the varying sizes of polka dots are not the best, and—"

Well, quit your excuses! If this isn't undeniable evidence as to the complete insanity of this outfit, allow me to present Exhibit B:

Via Go Fug Yourself

The back. Yes, that IS the digital member of the Blue Man Group tuning in between her shoulder blades. Because, of course, when you're creating a garment meant for someone with a face, it is clear that you should put another face on the back of said garment, just to create general confusion, or at the very least, communicate with the extra-terrestrials out there.

Oh, and yes. Please, while you're at it with the faces, why not make it all even out and continue the reddish brown leakage in the back too. Symmetry is so important.

Enough of my stream of consciousness, how do you feel about this dress, Damsels? Would you wear it to a premier for the whole world to see and paparazzi to photograph you so you could be reminded of it for the rest of time? Who let her do this? Who let this happen?!?! I rest my case.

Cuddle Up, Damsels

The wind is quite literally howling right outside my window as I write this, which makes this Lust vs. Must post highly appropriate. I've never understood the whole "don't wear white after labor day" rule because I think wearing a white chunky sweater and hat is one of the cutest winter ensembles there is! And while I own quite a few cozy knits, I've still been eying this gorgeous White + Warren Cashmere Shaker Bateau Neck:

Via WhiteandWarren.com

I would cozy up like no one has ever cozied before if I owned this sweater. Just look at it! All seductive with its slouchy self and 100% cashmere. I'd hate it if I didn't love it.

...and I might actually hate it a little seeing that it's $330.

But while crying into my poly-blend knits and trolling the web seeking solace, I found this:

Via AE.com

It may not be 100% cashmere, but it's more than 10x less money at only $29.99. I'm loving the boat necks on both sweaters, and while I prefer the fabric, swing and sleeves of the White + Warren, I'm def digging the price of this AE sweater more.

What say you? Do you want the lust or do you prefer the must?

Cut it Out, Damsels!

You heard me – cut it out! I am absolutely loving the cutout trend lately, especially on dresses and shirts.

What’s that you say? You want to see a triangle snippet of my back? Well, good thing there just happens to be a triangular-shaped peep hole in my garment!

But in all honesty, I’m totally serious – I think these dresses and shirts are so fun and add something interesting to the average cocktail dress. It doesn’t even need to show your bare flesh, but a cutout pattern with mesh insets can be just as daring…and flirty!

Take this Urban Outfitters shirt for example. 

 

Via UrbanOutfitters.com

Nothing about this screams “OMG SEX” but it’s still quite sexy with the silky material and peek-a-boo lace detailing. Amiright?

And then there's this pretty side cutout dress from ASOS in golden yellow.

Via ASOS.com 

So pretty and cutesy with the capped sleeves and slim fit, but I love the extra twist of the cutout.

Okay, so this one, also from ASOS, might scream “OMG SEX”:

Via ASOS.com

But it’s so much fun! You'd have to be pretty confident to pull it off, but it's unexpected and I dig it.

THIS, on the other hand, is a cutout monstrosity:

Nice Ride, Damsel

Ladies and gentlemen, and especially Damsels: allow me to lust vs. must your socks off.

Have you heard? Maybe you have. It is fall, which means fall fashions, layering and transitioning into winter. You've heard it all before, if you're a Damsel. But, please. Just humor me. Or, humour me, if you're British.

What better accessory for fall and winter than the boot? So stylish, so different from summer, and most importantly, so warm. This season, I've especially noticed the far-reaching trend of the riding boot. I, for one, am ready to ride this trend-horse off into the sunset, because if there is anything I can get behind, it is a boot with no heel.

Whether or not it has been brought to your attention before, I cannot walk in heels. It's never been a strong suit, and I avoid it at all costs. As I walked across the stage for my college graduation, for instance, every step was a fearsome, gruesome, high-heeled task. Thankfully, I didn't fall or make a fool of myself, but I will never get those years of stress back. NEVER.

Needless to say, when I can be stylish sans heel, I become a very happy Damsel, indeed. So, imagine my mirth when I viewed these lovely equestrian leather soles:

Via Tory Burch

Behold, dearest Damsels, the Selma riding boot from Tory Burch. J'adore. It is offered in both black and brown. Both colors are good choices in my opinion. But, they retail for $495. Insert sad face here. After pining after these specific riding boots for at least a month, and trying to look for any semblance of similarity in other brands, I had almost given up. Until:

Via Nordstrom's

Ah. Why does half the price feel so good? These are Vince Camuto version of the riding boot, and I have to say, I may enjoy the emblem placement even more than the Tory Burch version. This boot is just  $209! This brown is particularly flattering with jeans, and having tried them on in person, I can honestly say they fit close to calf, giving a true-to-form, slender fit, rather than a bunching, gathered, stiff leather fit, which most boots sport. As far as I can tell, they are only available through Nordstrom's and ShopStyle, but they are worth the dough.

Please excuse me while I grab my trusty steed and ride off into the sunset (perfectly accessorized, mind you).

Tight Damsels, Yo

I once owned an awesome pair of white tights with a flower design running up the sides. I loved them. They went flawlessly with my crushed velvet jumper, and let's just say 10-year-old me rocked them like no one's beeswax.

But then somewhere between '90s holiday parties and middle school band concerts, tights went out of fashion. My green tights with polka dots? No longer awesome. Black sheer tights? Too mom-ish. And those fabulous white tights with the black applique I so loved? Well, those unceremoniously met their demise in a Goodwill bag.

And then, slowly, tights began to become cool again. At first opaque black tights were the only acceptable form (jumping on the leggings bandwagon WHAT UP 2007?), but then tights in all the colors of the rainbow began to be marketed, too.  It was a new dawn...of pants-less-ness.

And now, textured tights are cool again. And I for one am friggin' ECSTATIC:

Via Anthropologie.com

Polka dots!

 

Via ShopBop.com

Warm textured tights!

Via ASOS.com

And, of course, some awesome flower appliques! My 10-year-old self and I are totally high fiving over these bad boys.

So what say you damsels? Do you think tights are tight? Because I totally do.

Damsels Strike a Cord(uroy)

I'm going to have to preface this post by saying that from time to time, I get an awesome deal, and I sort of like to toot my own horn. This is one of those times.

I am loving colorful skinny jeans right now. LOVING. I have a pair of jewel toned teal skinnies and a pair of dusty rose skinnies. But, recently I've become enamored of the colorful skinny cord. I love them in jewel tones as well, because jewel tones are perfect for fall and winter, plus the corduroy aspect makes them cozy and snuggle-worthy.

Here's where the "toot my own horn" part comes into play. I have been loving these:

Via J Brand

They are purple skinny cords from J Brand Jeans and they retail for $172. Though jewel toned, this hue is a tad outrageous even for my love of skinny, colored pants. But I recently went to the Gap (on a friend's advice) and found awesomely cute burgundy/plum skinny cords for only $40 (down from $60) because the Gap always has awesome sales. It is a color I am loving! I love them even more than the color and fit of the J Brand ones I originally lusted after.

At the time of this post, that color of skinny cord was no longer available on the Gap website (hence the lack of picture), however I think they are in stores—and everyone should check them out because they are so cute! Instead of being so purple, they are more subtle, picking up purple hues and red hues in different lighting.

If you happen to be scared of colored skinnies, I was once like you. It took Kate Middleton's shopping trip ending in a pair of red skinny jeans for me to see the light—that these skinny jeans could be classy (because Kate is nothing, if not classy) and work-appropriate.

What do you think about this trend? Is it here to stay? I personally enjoy an unexpected pop of color in trouser-wear. Why should all pants be neutral? Our legs need to express themselves too, you know.

Damsels Wear Crazy Pants

There are some trends that are just so wackadoo that I kind of fall in love with them. Every once in a while, one comes along all gussied up in its best tinfoil hat and straight jacket, and I think, "Wow, that's totally and completely crazy. But I want to go to there."

Well, Elle Macpherson may have opted for tinfoil pants rather than the standard hat, but I WANT TO GO TO THERE:

Photo Credit: FabSugar.com

She is so effortlessly rocking those pants that it makes me believe that I too could wear them and potentially even pull them off!

Yes, they're silver. Yes, they're shiny. Yes, she's a (retired?) supermodel.

But guess who has two thumbs and is totally buying these?

Photo Credit: Yoox.com

This guy!

Damsels are FUR Real

For real, Damsels. I had a hard time choosing a pun for this one, because technically, I could have said Damsels are FAUX Real or Damsels are FUR Real. I hope you think I chose wisely, as the sentiment I wish to convey has more to do with the idea of fur than the idea of faux, even if the fur is faux—you feel me, damsels?

Pun tangents aside, fur is totally in, partly because the weather is cooling down, and partly because texture is HUGE.

Fur is a great way to make a statement with a staple piece. And faux fur is a great way to make a statement on a budget (and also save animal lives).

The two types of faux fur statements I'm dying over are vests and full jackets.

Via shopnastygal.com

Fur jackets are great because you can make your statement in your outerwear, letting everyone you pass know that this girl knows what she's doing.

Via karmaloop.com

Vests are also wonderful objects because you can wear them indoors, allowing your coworkers, classmates and friends to see what you have going on in your wardrobe.

With all of these practical reasons and general warmth, who could really say no to faux?

12 Months of Mansel

Haven't you heard? I've been shouting it from the rooftops lately, but in case you haven't:

Via ClintonCards.co.uk

David Beckham is releasing a 2012 calendar. 12 months of hawtness. 365 days of yum. 1 whole year of yes please.

Ignore David's dapper wiping away of his singular tear: the photographer had just told him there would be no shirtless pictures (which I completely understand given my similar reaction). But it really doesn't get more dreamy than this, does it?

Via ClintonCards.co.uk

Be still my heart. Enjoy the hummana-worthy preview for next year's red-hot calendar of our favorite Mansel.

Damsels Hate Your Crazy Shoe

Say whatever you want about high fashion and couture, I have a love for them too (obviously). But I also have a love for practicality (common sense-ically).

Earlier this week I was perusing my usual fashion blogs and news when this pair of shoes was brought to my attention as a "MUST" for October:

Via net-a-porter.com

This shoe is a must for October? You MUST be clinically insane. Firstly, these are sandals. Since when have sandals ever been a "must" for October? Secondly, these shoes, dear damsels, are $2,495. Yes, you heard me correctly. And, they are Jimmy Choo, no less. But in this case, I think the branding is where all the value lies (see what I did there?). I honestly think you could get something as crazy as this at Charlotte Russe and attach a crazy feather key chain to it, and you'd have the look complete.

This shoe is not practical. It doesn't serve a purpose in fall weather. It is completely overpriced, and can we say it already? Feathers are so last year!  This shoe looks like high-end crazy. And, last time I checked, high-end crazy still had the word crazy in it. Hey, we all miss the mark sometimes, Jimmy Choo.

Don't agree with me? I can hold my own in a fight. Let us know how you feel on Facebook/Twitter or in the comments below. Don't be shy...we aren't.