Hummana Hummana: Still Alive, RG

Their was an evil story circulating the web today from Global Associated News "reporting" that Ryan Gosling had died. Fell off a mountain, poof, gone. Luckily, I didn't find out about this lie until after it had been debunked, which saved me from metaphorically clutching all of the "Hey Girl" memes to my bosom and sobbing bitterly.

Is that not how you grieve?

Image via People.com, hilarity via Damsels.com

But like I said, joyously this was a false report. So hummana hummana, still-living Ryan Gosling. May your gaze smolder for a thousand years.

The Tis is a Certified Damsel (Temporarily)

I know, I know. The Tis has had her share of Vanessa Hudgens-style faux pas, but she is doing something right recently. Don't think this gets you off easy though, Ashley. You're on probation.

Take a look at her bright, pastel look:

 

Ashley, girl. Please stay with this trend of looking respectable, nice and fashion-forward at the same time. I think I know a lot of people who would appreciate it. Where did you get that dress? And where can I buy it the fastest (with free shipping)?

Just a side note: Girl is rockin' a deep burgundy color in her hair, and though usually I would be like, "This is so passé...lame." Right now, I'm like, "Kind of cutes, Tis! Where'd you get it done? Can we be besties, so I can shop with you and also go to your salon, but since you are kind of richer, you could buy everything?"

That sounds like a great plan to me. Call me, Tis. I'll be waiting by the phone.

Coachellovin' Damsels

Sorry, damsels. I know, I know—we've been gone for a week. Rachel and I are so sorry, but it was all for you guys! We were at Coachella, taking pictures of celebrities and their outfits. YOU'RE WELCOME.

We chased Vanessa Hudgeons around trying to get her to put on pants.

We chased around Emma Roberts trying to get her to change hers.

We got a little clingy with Katy Perry and accidentally ripped her tights. Awkward.

We also partied with Rihanna, and her badass studded shorts.

 

Stalked some adorable celebrity couples.

 

 (All images via People.com)

Followed around Lindsay Lohan, version 143.0 (lovin' your hair, child).

Oh, and Rachel slow danced with Gerard Butler. So all in all? Pretty successful Coachella.

WTFriday: Damsel PJ Party!

Look, I know hearing your ex rap about a new flame in concert (even when you've moved on to an arguably better/at the very least more-sane rapper) can be tough—believe me, BEEN THERE—but that's no excuse to do...this:

Via Celebuzz.com

Amber, Amber, Amber. Give Wiz the night off, and come over to my house for a veg sesh. We'll eat some cookie dough, a little pizza, maybe some chocolate covered pretzels. You're already wearing the perfect pants!

Slouchy Damsels

Megan and I fawned over an alarming amount of merchandise today, which just served to make us depressed about our financial situations. But, it also served to creatively fuel this post, so, you win some...you lose some.

We are LOVING slouchy sweaters. They are the perfect piece for spring and summer. Switching from a day at the beach to an evening dinner? Throw a slouchy sweater over your outfit! Want to feel hardcore with leather leggings, but don't know if you can pull off edge from head-to-toe (or as Tyra says, "H to T")? Throw a slouchy sweater with those leather pants and you will be edgy, with a softer vibe.

They aren't as heavy as sweatshirts or jackets, so they won't weigh you down, but you won't freeze when it gets a little breezier at night.

Via nastygal.com

So, what am I saying? I'm saying get to a store and buy yourself a slouchy sweater, for goodness sake! If not for yourself, do it for Megan and I. We can live vicariously through your purchases and feel that much better about our situation (or just insanely jealous).

Hummana Hummana: Boyfriend

 Via buzzworthy.mtv.com

Rachel: have you heard Justin Beiber’s new song Boyfriend?

  it is so sleazy

  but kinda awesome

  slash I can see myself being like "put on Justin Beiber Boyfriend!!!"

  and then dancing like a fool

  because there is no good way to dance to that song

Megan: I know!!!

  I kind of love it

  slash sincerely love it

  it's like the Yin Yang Twins got a girlfriend

  and sucked on some helium

  and then recorded that song

Rachel: totally!

Megan: all I could think about when I first heard it was the Yin Yang Twins

  and how much they are kicking themselves that they let Justin Beiber get ahead of them on this

Rachel: can you say "this is the REMIX"

  "YING YANG TWINS, JUSTIN BEIBER, AND 'LIL JOHN"

  YEAHHHHHHHHH, WHAT?!?!

 Megan: OMG GENIUS

  WE NEED TO CALL THEIR PEOPLE AND GET ON THIS

  it would be Justin Beiber all, "I love you, I’m such an awesome boyfriend!"

  and then the Yin Yang Twins would be all like, "nah girl, he just tryna get that p**** wet"

  and then Beiber would be all "I can be your boyfriend!?"

  and Lil John would go “WHHHHAAT??”

  “OKAY!!!”

  best remix ever.

Rachel: YES

Justin Beiber/Yin Yang Twins/Lil John—you can all make those royalties checks out to The Damsels. K, thanx. 

Damsels Say It With Denim

I'm not sure what the "it" Topshop wants us to say with denim is, but I'm pretty sure they chose the wrong photo to say "it." Unless "it" was, "I'm so stoned I forgot how to put on a jacket properly."

Via Topshop.com

In which case, bravo. Topshop: 1, Megan: 0.

Damsels are Kidding

Well, the Kid's Choice Awards were on Saturday. This is one of my favorite award shows just because celebs take a chance with what they are wearing and aren't so uptight. Sometimes they take this motto to an extreme, though. Let me give you an example.

Selena Gomez. How cute, right! She's taking a risk by wearing a crop bustier with a skirt, and showing a little skin (why not take the cut-out trend a little further, as long as you're still classy?).

Via people.com

Well, you stay classy, Selena, because we don't want you to end up like this:

Via people.com

WHAT, is this? Katy, you have some serious problems recently. First, with the whole "blue everything" phase (official term) from hair to toenails. Then, this? Your hair...I can't even speak. Kinda cool colors, but why does it have to be limply laying on the side of your head like that? Then, you've chosen to coat a neon sports bra with a slime-like substance (ok, it is apt for the occasion, but really?) and wear an ill-fitting, terribly hemmed, non-matching, can't-even-call-it-a-skirt thing. Just bad.

And then there was this:

Via people.com

Did people mistake this awards show for an 80's themed party? If so, you win Jada. I think you can collect your prize waaaayyy over there...keep going. Just a little further...in that limo that's waiting to take you away to the mental facility...what? I didn't say anything.