Soul-Splitting Damsel

Guys, I love Miley. I know there are a lot of Miley-haters out there, and I have to say, very adamantly, that I don't know why this is, but "Haters gon' Hate."

This is why every time Miley steps out of the house, I am so worried. I just feel like I should be her protector. Or the person who suggests another stylist? Maybe that would be protection enough??

Every time she steps out on the town, I look at her face and her hair, and I say, "Miley, lookin cute, gurl! Look at your little ombre, spiral-curl locks, and your awesome makeup! I want your awesome look!" Then, I look down and my soul splits in half.

Once your soul splits in half, you can't recover. We all know that you have to harvest that part of your soul in some keepsake item and hide it in a safe space. But this is happening more and more frequently with Miley. I love her makeup, then I look down, and I have a Horcrux on my hands.

Via celebuzz.com

This time, at The Hunger Games premier I might add, was crazy. Miley was the brothel madame of a saloon in the Wild West, while her boyfriend (ahem, eye-candy) Liam Hemsworth was looking the part of the dapper gentleman, parting and combing his hair, like Scott Disick.

The skirt part of this ensemble looks like it could have been bought in the halls of Kohl's, while the top is actually super cute! Now, wait! Before you judge my support of bustiers, have some imagination! If she had paired this top with a more formal, high-waisted, floor-length skirt, it would have been totally appropriate and maybe even cute with a little edge. Even a shorter, high-waisted skirt would have been cute.

This was poor execution, Miley. I am still not a hater, but I get more disheartened every time you open your front door.

Now, where was I going to hide my Horcrux this time? I'm looking at you, Nagini...

Hummana Hummana: Hunger Mansels

Via UPI.com

So. Frickin'. PUMPED.

P.S. Hemsworth, I like your hair!

P.P.S. Josh, I don't care that you're short. You're adorable. You steal the show with your charming shenanigans, and I am such a sucker for shenanigans. I mean, look at you:

Via msnbc.com

You are so FUN. All of your fangirls are loving you up, like some scrumptious piece of delightful pie! And you're wearing a vest! You're all, "I know, right?! Pictures for everyone!"

P.P.P.S. Katniss—er, Jennifer, your dress was AWESOME. And you are AWESOME. And I'm pret-ty sure we'd be best friends if we met/not really because I'd be super intimidated and you'd be all badass and cool and I'd probably try too hard and ruin it. Or something. I haven't thought about it a lot.

P.P.P.P.S. Your dress looked so good though.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I know I should've made this a regular post, but we're all stuck with it now. This is what happens when I get too giddy. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, HUTCHERSON.

Hummana Hummana, Hemsworth?

Liam Hemsworth is covering Details magazine.

Via TheHollywoodGossip.com

He stars as Gale in the upcoming Hunger Games movie and is of course best known for his complex and nuanced role (sarcasm) as Miley Cyrus's onscreen (turned off-screen) boyfriend in The Last Song. I'm lukewarm on t-shirt button downs on men and concerned he might have a lower back problem, but all in all he looks fine. The background matches his eyes. His facial hair doesn't bother me too much. You know we love a skinny tie. Ho-hummana.

I don't know, is it just me? Am I somehow immune to his hotness? Maybe the HG movie will change my mind. It's not like I have anything against Hemsworth here. He and Miley seem happy. I'm looking forward to his brother's movie with KStew. What am I missing??

What do you Damsels think: does he look feh or feh-rickin' awesome? Tell us in the comments!

Damsels Play Hunger Games

So, here's a shocking confession: I haven't read The Hunger Games yet. Partly because I am busy, but partly because the book covers look like Ayn Rand covers, and I just don't feel like going that deep into philosophy and Objectivism at this time in my life. Before this year, and the Entertainment Weekly covers (thank you man-sel Liam Hemsworth for your hotness and Miley-devotion), hunger games to me were merely the tests of will I encountered with various salty snacks. My everyday battles with chips and doughnuts are far less epic, I've been told, than the novels themselves. So, I am willing to give it a chance. I got the first book on Amazon, and I will read it soon (I will let you know my thoughts, but not before I read my newest romance novel - priorities). I have chosen to give in and finally read this book mostly for the following reasons:

1) The female protagonist's name is Katniss, and that is just plain cool. It sounds a tad like catnip, but it is spelled with a K, so you know she's in league with the Kardashians. Any friend of Bruce Jenner's is a friend of mine. (Hey Katniss, can you get me in with Khloe and Lam-Lam? Their lives are awesome.)

2) I feel a moral obligation to read most books before I see their screen-versions (The one exception? Twilight. But I do love Twilight, and I know I will read it soon, even though Harry Potter is way better and nothing could possibly compare. JK Rowling,  you are a genius - among other things).

3) But, two things specifically happened today to irrevocably change my mind about not reading The Hunger Games:

     a) Miley Cyrus showed up with Liam at an event to which she wore this hairstyle, described as a Katniss braid. I love this braid, and I can get by any story character who's hair is this cool. She looks super cute, despite a plunging neckline.

Via gofugyourself.com

     b) Design sketches of Katniss' fire dress were released by Christian Siriano, Rachel Roy and Charlotte Ronson (I wish I had a fire dress, whatever it may be, because it sounds legit.) Katniss' fire dress is described in the book (allegedly) as a close-fitting black jump suit, with an orange, yellow and red cape and boots that lace up to her knees. See the first photo below, the Charlotte Ronson version (which, I have to admit, is pretty bad-ass and awesome. I wish I was a super hero, or had some other reason to run around the city looking like this.):

Via style.mtv.com

Christian Siriano (his sketch pictured below on the left) took a similar approach to Ronson. And here is where I swoon. Rachel Roy's version is to-die-for. I have no reason to wear something like this, and neither, I'm sure, does Katniss, if she is galavanting in a forest, battling for her life for her whole community to see. But this is completely awesome. This interpretation of her fire dress makes me weak in the knees. The boots! Did you see the boots? LOVE. This is why I will surely be reading The Hunger Games very, very soon. Katniss, her awesome name, her affiliation with the Kardashians, and this awesome version of her fire dress better be ready to impress. I judge harshly.

Via style.mtv.com

No really, did you see the boots?

Hummana Hummana: Sexiest Mansels Alive 2011

OK, ladies. Let's just cut to the chase here, because we know what you want. You want a little man-sel and you want it now. Hey, understandable. We could all use a little more meat this time of year—and of course I'm referring to turkey.

PEOPLE has released its "Sexiest Man Alive 2011" list and the winner is...

Via PEOPLE

Bradley Cooper? I guess those eyes are kind of piercing, and his character in The Hangover was funny and lovable if not a little douche-y, but really? I can't say I mind the eye-candy, but there is a lot of merchandise out there, or as we say in the business, "merch."

In the interest of...well, Man-sel-viewing, let's examine that "merch." I give you some of the other candidates that made the coveted annual list:

Via PEOPLE

Ah. Liam Hemsworth. Miley-dater extraordinaire, Hunger Games star and most importantly, man-who-has-a-first-name-in-common-with-Liam-Neeson, an actor I find incredibly endearing and, if you must know, I also find him bad-ass in the movies Les Miserables and Taken (an odd assortment of movies, I agree).

Via PEOPLE

Another endearing candidate? Tim McGraw. Never underestimate the sex-power of a married man who loves his wife. Loyalty is attractive, and so are cowboy hats and boots (when applicable, read: if you're a country star, or you are dressing up for a theme-party).

Can't get enough? Go to people.com to view the rest of the candidates who made THE list of 2011.

Well, there you have it, Damsels. A Hummana Hummana worthy of the day before Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?